LOVE BY THE NUMBERS

AVITW


I SEE WHERE IT IS SAID, AT LEAST BY THE SELLERS OF THE SAME, THAT COMPUTERS WILL CHANGE THE WORLD. HAVING BEEN "AWAY" (READ BUSY) FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS, I REACHED MY "GOLDEN YEARS" AND DECIDED THERE MIGHT BE A LITTLE TIME LEFT TO SHARE MY WIT, WISDOM, LEISURE INTERESTS AND A PORTION OF MY WORLDLY RESOURCES, (AT LEAST THE PART NOT CONFISCATED BY THE GOVERNMENT) WITH A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER. HOWEVER, I SOON DISCOVERED THAT EVEN THAT IS NOT NECESSARY IN THE 21st CENTURY (ACCORDING TO THE NINE OLD PEOPLE IN LONG ROBES, I THINK).        

REMEMBERING THE SUCCESS OF A "FRIEND" WHO PUT AN AD IN THE LOCAL PAPER TWENTY YEARS AGO, TO WIT: OLD GUY; LIKES TO FISH; LOOKING FOR WIFE WITH BOAT. PLEASE SEND PICTURE OF BOAT! I RESOLVED TO EMULATE HIS ORIGINALITY.        

IN LOOKING FOR A PAPER TO PLACE SUCH AN AD, ALBEIT WITH DIFFERENT SPECIFICS, I FOUND THAT COMPUTERS HAVE INDEED SUPPLANTED THIS ARCHAIC MEDIUM AND THE WORLD OF "RANDOM ENCOUNTERS" WITH POSSIBLE COMPANIONS HAS BEEN FOREVER ALTERED. NEVER HAS THERE BEEN A GRANDER A LA CARTE MENU DEVISED, FROM WHICH ONE MAY ENCOUNTER EXACTLY THE MATE ONE DESIRES.  STILL, WISDOM DOES MANDATE THAT ONE CONSIDER CAREFULLY WHAT ONE WISHES FOR AS IT MIGHT ACTUALLY COME TRUE.

BEING SOMEWHAT ADAPTABLE, WITHIN NUMERICAL REASON, TO THE NEW ENVIRONMENTAL IMPERATIVES AND, NOT BEING EASILY DETERRED FROM A QUEST, I MADE A CURSORY REVIEW OF HUNDREDS OF THE SITES AVAILABLE AND FOUND ALL OF THEM EAGER TO TAKE MY MONEY. TO MAKE THIS PROCESS LESS PAINFUL, THEY HAVE AMASSED AN "INVENTORY" OF AVAILABLE WOMEN IN EVERY SIZE, SHAPE AND COLOR IMAGINABLE, WHICH THEY HAVE DISPLAYED IN VARIOUS STATES OF DRESS AND UNDRESS, FOR EVERY CONCEIVABLE PURPOSE THAT I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED AND SOME I HAVE NOT YET HAD THE DUBIOUS PLEASURE OF TRYING. FISHING SEEMS TO HAVE TAKEN ON A WHOLE NEW MEANING AND ONE DOES NOT EVEN NEED A LICENSE UNTIL THE PRIZE HAS BEEN LANDED, IF THEN.      

FROM THIS PLETHORA OF SITES STREAMED A VIRTUAL WAREHOUSE FULL OF AVAILABLE WOMEN, NUMBERING IN THE 10'S OF THOUSANDS LOCALLY TO 100,000’S OF THOUSANDS WORLDWIDE, JUST WAITING TO MEET ME. THEY PURPORTEDLY RANGED IN AGE FROM 18 TO 79&1/2 (ALTHOUGH SOME LOOKED YOUNGER AND SOME LOOKED OLDER). PART OF MY WIT AND WISDOM IS UNDERSTANDING THE POSSIBILITY THAT PHOTOGRAPHS MAY NOT ACCURATELY REPRESENT REALITY.       THEY ALSO RANGED IN HEIGHT FROM 5' NOTHING TO 6' SOMETHING (ALTHOUGH SOME LOOKED SHORTER AND SOME LOOKED TALLER). PICTURES CAN REALLY BE DECEIVING. APPARENTLY, FEMALES HAVE DISCOVERED SOME MYSTICAL LINK BETWEEN HEIGHT AND THE VALUE OF A MAN SO, TOM CRUISE EXCEPTED, MOST MEN ARE AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIED. THAT IS NOT TO DENY THAT WOMEN MAY BE EQUALLY BAFFLED AT THE MYSTICAL LINK, TO WHICH MEN ASCRIBE, WHERE THERE SEEMS TO BE AN UNDENIABLE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE VALUE OF A WOMAN AND THE SIZE OF HER BREASTS, BUT I DIGRESS.      GIVEN THE LIMITATIONS OF GENETICS ON MEN AND THE RECENT NUTRITIONAL EFFECTS ON THE STATURE OF WOMEN, I SUPPOSE THERE SHOULD BE A SITE FOR MIDGETS, WHERE MEN OF AVERAGE HEIGHT COULD LOOK FOR COMPANIONSHIP.  HOWEVER, I COULD NOT FIND ONE SITE READY TO FILL THIS UNMET NEED. PERHAPS THE TIME HAS COME TO TAKE THIS NEED SERIOUSLY AND REAP THE OBVIOUS FINANCIAL BENEFITS.      

MANY WOMEN WERE ALSO KIND ENOUGH TO SUPPLY INFORMATION AS TO HOW MUCH THEY WEIGHED, WHICH RANGED FROM 90 POUNDS (40KG) TO 190 POUNDS (85KG).  ALTHOUGH NONE LOOKED TO WEIGH LESS THAN ADVERTISED, WHICH MAY MEAN WE ARE HALF WAY TO TRUTH IN ADVERTISING, MOST LOOKED TO WEIGH MORE. PERHAPS, THEIR MECHANICAL MEASURING DEVICES WERE INACCURATE OR PICTURES MAY IN FACT LIMIT THE ABILITY TO LIE WITH 100% EFFECTIVENESS.  

FOR THOSE NOT SO FORTHRIGHT, THERE HAS EVOLVED A SERIES OF "CODE WORDS" RELATING TO BODY MASS. ONE TRANSLATES THESE LITERALLY AT GREAT PERIL. TO THE TRAINED EYE, (AGE DOES BRING PERSPECTIVE) IT SEEMS THAT THE ADJECTIVES MEANT TO CONVEY MEANING HAVE HAD THEIR MEANINGS CHANGED.  FOR EXAMPLE, AVERAGE IS NOW A CODE WORD FOR OVERWEIGHT. VOLUPTUOUS IS THE WORD FOR FAT AND “BIG AND BEAUTIFUL” HAS EVOLVED AS THE PERFECT OXYMORON.      ON THE OTHER HAND, A LARGE PERCENTAGE OF INDIVIDUALS CIRCUMVENT THIS PROBLEM ENTIRELY BY NOT ALLOWING YOU TO SEE THE BAIT UNTIL THEY HAVE YOU "HOOKED".  AT LEAST THAT IS MY ASSUMPTION UPON LOOKING AT THE SITUATION FROM THE FISH'S POINT OF VIEW.  AS A MAN SEPARATED FROM REALITY FOR SO LONG, ONE SENSES THAT MEN HAVE NOW BECOME THE FISH RATHER THAN THE FISHERS.  IN THE SPIRIT OF ENTERING, WITH GREAT TREPIDATION, THE 21st CENTURY, I THOUGHT THIS LANGUAGE MIGHT BE LESS INCENDIARY, THAN PREDATOR AND PREY.      

JUDGING FROM THE FINANCIAL NUMBERS, ALTHOUGH ONE WONDERS WHAT THIS HAS TO DO WITH TRUE LOVE, MUCH LESS WIT AND WISDOM, WOMEN IN THE UNITED STATES SEEM TO HAVE BEEN EQUALLY BUSY, AMASSING SMALL FORTUNES AND SOME RATHER SUBSTANTIAL INCOMES. THAT THESE NUMBERS ARE SURPASSED ONLY BY THE PROJECTED FORTUNES AND INCOMES OF THE MEN THEY ARE SEEKING SEEMS EERILY PARALLEL TO THE BELIEFS CONCERNING THE RELATIONSHIP OF HEIGHT TO VALUE.  SINCE THE VAST MAJORITY OF THOSE SEEKING MALE COMPANIONSHIP SEEM TO BE DIVORCED ONE OR MORE TIMES, ONE MUST AT LEAST PONDER, BY WHAT METHODS THESE FORTUNES WERE ACQUIRED.      

IT APPEARS THAT MORE THAT 80% OF THE MALE POPULATION (MARRIED OR SINGLE) WERE FINANCIALLY DISQUALIFIED FROM CONSIDERATION AS PROSPECTIVE MATES WITHOUT SO MUCH AS BEING GIVEN A FAIR HEARING.  AMONG THOSE MEN FOOLISHLY SEEKING A NEW LIAISON, APPROXIMATELY 99% ARE CONSIDERED FINANCIALLY UNQUALIFIED. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE NOT TO KNOW THAT MEN WITH INCOMES AND ASSETS OF THE DESIRED MAGNITUDE DO NOT NEED TO LOOK FOR COMPANIONSHIP IN THE RECESSES OF THE INTERNET? FOR OBVIOUS REASONS, SUCH COMPANIONSHIP MAGICALLY APPEARS "ON THEIR DOORSTEP" SO TO SPEAK.  A RECENTLY POPULAR TELEVISION SERIES, DETAILED, AD NAUSEA, THE EFFORTS OF FEMALES TO ENCOUNTER AND ENSNARE A SUITABLE MALE COMPANION, WITH THE IMPLICIT MESSAGE THAT EVERY MAN ON THE PLANET WAS INFERIOR TO THEM IN EVERY WAY.  THANKFULLY, TELEVISION SELDOM PRESENTS A TRUE REPRESENTATION OF REALITY OR THE FUTURE OF THE HUMAN RACE WOULD BE SERIOUSLY IMPERILED.      

APPARENTLY AGE IS ALSO A NUMBER IN QUALIFYING FOR ADMISSION TO THE CADRE OF QUALIFIED APPLICANTS, ALTHOUGH, TO MY KNOWLEDGE, WIT AND WISDOM IS NOT NORMALLY DISTRIBUTED ACCORDING TO THIS DEMOGRAPHIC. BEING TRAPPED IN THE MASCULINE GENDER, I AM ONLY AWARE OF MASCULINE INCLINATIONS IN THIS AREA. MEN IN THEIR 40'S ARE PRIMARILY INTERESTED IN "20 SOMETHING’S".  MEN IN THEIR 50'S ARE LOOKING AT THE "30 SOMETHING’S".  MEN IN THEIR 60'S ARE DESIROUS OF RELATIONSHIPS WITH '40 SOMETHING’S" OR THE OCCASIONAL PRE-MENOPAUSAL "50 AND HOLDING". NOW, IT SEEMS THAT AMONG THE “LIBERATED” (LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY) POPULATION OF WOMEN, THE NUMBERS OF INTEREST WITH RESPECT TO AGE, ARE NOT SIGNIFICANTLY DIFFERENT FROM THE MALE FANTASIES.

OTHER MEN, WITH MORE MATURITY, ACCEPT THEIR FATE AS CONFIRMED "LOSERS" AND FIND COMPANIONSHIP IN "FRIENDLY RELATIONS" WITH A VARIETY OF WOMEN OF UNCERTAIN AGES WHO POPULATE VARIOUS SOCIAL SETTINGS WHERE THEY VASTLY OUT NUMBER THE SURVIVING MEN 3 TO 1 OR MORE.  WHY WASTE TIME LOOKING IN VAIN AT WEB PAGES FULL OF TEMPTING MORSELS, MUCH AS A BEGGAR, WITHOUT COIN OF THE REALM, GAZES AT THE PASTRIES IN A LOCAL BAKERY WINDOW? IT MUST BE ACKNOWLEDGED THAT THESE "FRIENDLY" RELATIONS DO NOT PRODUCE THE SAME LEVEL OF SATISFACTION "POSSIBLE", BUT NOT GUARANTEED, IN A LONG TERM COMMITMENT.  ON THE POSITIVE SIDE, NEITHER DO THEY ENMESH EITHER INDIVIDUAL IN A PLETHORA OF PHYSICAL, SOCIAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, FINANCIAL AND LEGAL GORDIAN KNOTS.

SINCE THE RATIO OF AGE TO INTEREST AMONG MEN SEEMS TO RANGE FROM 2/3  TO  3/4 OF THEIR CHRONOLOGICAL AGE AND, SINCE WOMEN HAVE ADOPTED THE SAME PREFERENCES, IT IS NOT DIFFICULT TO CALCULATE THE PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS FOR BOTH.  HOWEVER, IF ONE JUDGES FROM THE RATIO OF UNATTACHED WOMEN TO UNATTACHED MEN, BEGINNING AROUND AGE 40, THEIR PERCENTAGE OF SUCCESS SEEMS CONSIDERABLY LOWER.  WITHOUT USING TOO MUCH INTELLIGENCE, IT SEEMS OBVIOUS THAT EITHER GENDER COULD IMPROVE THEIR NUMBERS (PROBABILITY OF SUCCESS) SIMPLY BY CHANGING THE AGE DEMOGRAPHIC.  AMELIORATING OTHER NUMERICAL EXPECTATIONS, TO ONES MORE REALISTICALLY RELATED TO WHAT THE SEEKERS HAVE TO "OFFER” (WHICH ROUGHLY EQUATES TO THEIR PRESENT "MARKET VALUE", NUMERICALLY SPEAKING) WOULD NO DOUBT ALSO RAISE SUCCESS RATES.  HOWEVER, CHANGING INFLATED IMAGES OF SELF-WORTH TO REALISTIC ONES IS ANOTHER TOPIC.         

WITH THE OPTIMISM OF ETERNAL YOUTH, OR HORMONES RUN AMOK, MEN PAY LITTLE ATTENTION TO THE CAVEATS IN THE WOMEN’S' ADS, OR THEY (THE WOMEN) WOULD RECEIVE VERY FEW, IF ANY, REPLIES. IT MAY BE ASSUMED THAT WOMEN, FROM THESE WELL INTENTIONED BUT MISGUIDED REPLIES, INCORRECTLY INFER THAT THE "REALITY" OF DATING IS ACCURATELY CHRONICLED IN THE PEJORATIVE PROGRAM MENTIONED ABOVE WHICH REINFORCES THE VIEW THAT MEN ARE UNIVERSALLY DEFECTIVE IN AN INFINITE VARIETY OF WAYS, WHILE WOMEN ARE EMINENTLY QUALIFIED TO BE PERFECT COMPANIONS/SPOUSES.      ONE DOUBTS THAT THE TRUTH LIES IN EITHER POSITION. HOWEVER, IT SEEMS THAT WOMEN CAN NOW ADD EGOS AS ANOTHER AREA WHERE THEY HAVE SURPASSED MEN. IT IS ASSUMED THAT THE CHASM WILL REMAIN INTACT EVEN AS THE INDIVIDUALS WHO BUY INTO IT, WILL REMAIN ALONE. VAMOS A VER!      

ANOTHER IMPORTANT NUMBER SEEMS TO BE YEARS IN SCHOOL (AT LEAST FOR WOMEN), REGARDLESS OF INTELLIGENCE OR WISDOM ACQUIRED THROUGH OTHER MEANS.  JUST AS EMPLOYERS OF INDIVIDUALS FOR MORE THAN MINIMUM WAGE POSITIONS HAVE DECIDED TO ELIMINATE ANYONE WITH 12 YEARS OF EDUCATION OR LESS, IN ORDER TO AVOID CHARGES OF ILLEGAL DISCRIMINATION ON OTHER GROUNDS, I SUPPOSE, MEN WHO HAVE "ONLY" A HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION HAD JUST AS WELL REMOVE THEMSELVES FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH, OR SAVE THEIR MEMBERSHIP MONEY FOR PROSPECTING IN THE LOCAL BAR. SIXTEEN YEARS OF EDUCATION WOULD SEEM TO BE A MINIMUM FOR QUALIFYING AS DESIRABLE.        

AS WOMEN HAVE ELEVATED THEMSELVES IN EDUCATION AND ECONOMIC STATUS, THEIR DESIRES AND EXPECTATIONS OF MALES SUITABLE FOR COMPANIONSHIP SEEM TO HAVE GROWN EXPONENTIALLY, WHILE THE CHARACTERISTICS AND FEATURES THEY POSSESS, WHICH MIGHT BE CONSIDERED ATTRACTIVE, CONTINUE TO DECLINE.  ONE FEELS A CERTAIN SADNESS, IF NOT SYMPATHY, AT THE PLIGHT OF THESE RELATIVELY ATTRACTIVE AND ACCOMPLISHED WOMEN WHO NOW PERCEIVE FEW MEN TO BE THEIR EQUAL AND THEREFORE, MUCH LESS DESIRABLE OR DESERVING OF THEIR COMPANY, AT LEAST IN NUMERICAL TERMS. THAT THESE PERCEPTIONS PARALLEL THE HOLY GRAIL OF EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION (SEX AND THE CITY?) NOW SEEMS PROPHETIC TO ONE WITH A MODICUM OF WIT AND WISDOM.      

THE LONE MASCULINE TRAIT WHICH HAS NOT BEEN QUANTIFIED AND/OR FACTORED INTO THE EQUATION BY AVAILABLE (OR SOON TO BE AVAILABLE) WOMEN IS THE INHERENT FEAR THAT MANY MALES HAVE OF MODERN FEMALES, WHICH THEY ASSOCIATE WITH A DOMINEERING AND THEREFORE UNDESIRABLE PERSONALITY. HAVING ENCOUNTERED THIS PHENOMENON AT EVERY TURN OF THEIR PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL EXISTENCE, FREE MALES HAVE LITTLE DESIRE TO HOLD THIS KILLER OF ALL THINGS GOOD IN LIFE CLOSE TO THEIR BREASTS. THE MALE OF THE SPECIES, HAVING BEEN EMASCULATED (FIGURATIVELY) FOR NEARLY HALF A CENTURY, HAS BECOME JUSTIFIABLY CAUTIOUS.  BEHAVIOR, HOWEVER IRRATIONAL IT MAY BE IN MODERN SOCIETY, THAT HAS EVOLVED OVER MILLIONS OF YEARS, WHERE THE MALE ASSUMED THE DOMINANT ROLE IN SOCIETY AND IN THE FAMILY (ALONG WITH THE BAGGAGE THAT ENTAILS) WILL NOT BE UNDONE BY SOCIAL CHANGE.      

IT IS POSTULATED THAT FAILURE TO TAKE THIS EVOLUTIONARY INFORMATION INTO ACCOUNT IS THE PREDOMINANT FACTOR LEADING TO THE ASTRONOMICAL NUMBER OF INDIVIDUALS OF BOTH GENDERS LIVING ALONE, BUT PERHAPS WISHING THEY DID NOT.  OF COURSE, INFIDELITY AND OTHER FORMS OF CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR MAY STILL ACCOUNT FOR A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF THE REASONS WHY PERSONS, FORMERLY LIVING WITH A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX, NOW FIND THEMSELVES LIVING ALONE.   UNFORTUNATELY, IN THIS CENTURY OF INFLATED EXPECTATIONS (NUMERICALLY), SUCH CONSIDERATIONS SEEM PASSÉ.       SINCE IT IS ONLY THE NUMBERS THAT SEEM TO MATTER AND ONE CANNOT QUANTIFY WIT AND WISDOM, MUCH LESS KINDNESS, PATIENCE, RESPONSIBILITY, ADAPTABILITY, OPEN MINDEDNESS AND THE OTHER TRAITS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO THE UNIQUENESS OF EACH INDIVIDUAL, PERHAPS THE PURVEYORS OF THESE SITES HAVE INDEED DISCOVERED THE FOUNTAIN OF ETERNAL MONEY.      

RETURNING TO OTHER EXPECTATIONS SUBJECT TO NUMERICAL ANALYSIS, ONE ENCOUNTERS THE NUMBER OF CHILDREN ATTACHED TO A GIVEN WOMAN. WHILE ONE DOES NOT ENCOUNTER ONE WOMAN SEEKING TO ASSUME THE RESPONSIBILITIES FOR A MAN, MUCH LESS HIS CHILDREN, THERE IS THE UNIVERSAL EXPECTATION THAT A MAN SHOULD BE OVERJOYED TO ACCEPT A "PACKAGE DEAL", MEANING THE RESPONSIBILITIES FOR RAISING ANOTHER MAN'S CHILDREN. IT IS SUGGESTED THAT ANY MAN WITH THIS BENT MUST SURELY BE A WALKING SAINT AND NO AMOUNT OF LOVE AND APPRECIATION IS TOO GREAT FOR HIM, REGARDLESS OF HIS “NUMBERS”.      

PRIOR EXPERIENCE, INDICATES THAT THE DIVORCED MAN WHO ASSUMES, OR IS FORCED TO ASSUME, FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS YOUNG, AS IS CUSTOMARY IN A WORLD WITHOUT A LEGAL PLAYING FIELD, WILL ENCOUNTER CONSIDERABLE CASTIGATION FROM HIS SUBSEQUENT SPOUSE, BECAUSE SOME OF HIS MONEY MUST BE SENT TO THE FORMER SPOUSE, WHO MAY OR MAY NOT USE IT FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE CHILDREN. OF COURSE, HE WILL FOREVER BE THE “OUTSIDER” IN THE EXISTING FAMILY THAT HE IS NOW EXPECTED TO SUPPORT, BUT THAT IS ANOTHER TOPIC.      

WHAT SEEMS TO BE OVERLOOKED IN THE NUMERICAL FINANCIAL CRITERIA FOCUSING ON INCOME IS THE FAILURE TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT EXPENSES. A MAN WHO RECEIVES MUCH LESS INCOME THAN DEMANDED BY THESE PARAGONS OF FEMININITY MIGHT, IN FACT, HAVE A GREATER ABILITY TO SHARE IN, IF NOT PROVIDE, ECONOMIC SECURITY, ALTHOUGH ONE GATHERS THAT THIS IDEA IS THE MODERN EQUIVALENT OF HERESY OR THE "THIRD RAIL" OF SOCIAL INTERCOURSE.      

THE AUTHOR SUGGESTS THAT A MAN SHOULD CONSIDER HIMSELF FORTUNATE TO BE FINANCIALLY DISQUALIFIED BY A WOMAN WHO IS OBVIOUSLY LESS INTERESTED IN HIS "WIT AND WISDOM" THAN HIS "NUMBERS".  DARE ONE SUGGEST THAT THESE WOMEN RECEIVE, AS ROBERT BURNS ONCE NOTED, THE GIFT TO SEE THEMSELVES AS OTHERS (ESPECIALLY PROSPECTIVE SUITORS) SEE THEM. AS WITH THE DISCONNECT IN AGE EXPECTATIONS, FEW MEN APPROACH THE SOCIAL MILIEU OF COUPLING WITH THE SAME MIND SET AS APPLYING FOR A JOB, WHERE HE EXAMINES THE BALANCE SHEET OF THE PROSPECTIVE BENEFICIARY OF HIS EFFORTS TO ENSURE THAT HE WILL RECEIVE A FAIR WAGE, GOOD WORKING CONDITIONS, NUMEROUS PERKS AND AN ANNUAL VACATION.      

ANOTHER NUMBER, WHICH IS A FREQUENT PREREQUISITE FOR THE RELATIONSHIP, IS ONES ZIP CODE, ERGO, THE DISTANCE ONE LIVES FROM THE PROSPECTIVE MATE. THE AUTHOR DOES NOT DENY THE DIFFICULTY OF PURSUING AND/OR SUSTAINING A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP. STILL, I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY EVIDENCE OF COMPATIBILITY BEING NUMERICALLY RELATED TO DISTANCE.  NEITHER HAVE I SEEN ANY NUMBERS ON THE RELOCATION OF ONE GENDER TO THE HOME OF THE OTHER. HOWEVER, WITH THE ARROGANCE OF MY EVOLUTION DATING FROM PREHISTORIC TIMES, IT WAS ASSUMED THAT FEW WOMEN WERE LOOKING TO TAKE IN A STRAY MALE AND CARE FOR HIM IN THEIR EXISTING DOMICILE, WHILE THEY CONTINUED THEIR EMPLOYMENT TO PROVIDE FOR HIM WHAT THEY SEEM TO EXPECT FOR THEMSELVES.
  
ALTHOUGH THIS MIGHT BE A CORRECTABLE MISCONCEPTION, AND ONE WHICH WOULD CONSIDERABLY LESSEN THE NEED FOR AN EXCEEDINGLY HIGH INCOME TO BE CONSIDERED AN ELIGIBLE PROSPECT, ONE SHOULD PROBABLY NOT COUNT ON EQUAL RIGHTS TO EXTEND THIS FAR ANY TIME SOON.   VAMOS A VER!      

TWENTY YEARS IS BEGINNING TO SEEM LIKE AN ETERNITY IN TERMS OF MATING EXPECTATIONS. WITH THE MODERN WOMAN'S CONSTRAINTS, PERHAPS A MAN WOULD DO WELL TO SEEK ARCHITECTURAL DRAWINGS OF THE PROSPECTIVE MATE'S RESIDENCE, MUCH AS MY FRIEND OF YORE WISHED TO KNOW THE NATURE OF HER BOAT.      

FINALLY, EVEN THE MOST CASUAL OBSERVER COULD SCARCELY FAIL TO NOTICE THE UBIQUITOUS EXPRESSIONS OF GREAT SATISFACTION (BOASTING?) OVER WHAT EACH WOMAN HAS ACHIEVED IN HER LIFE, ESPECIALLY IN HER CHOSEN OCCUPATION. FOR SOME REASON ANOTHER NUMBER CAME TO MIND WHICH COULD POSSIBLY PREEMPT ALL OTHERS AND THAT IS THE TIME SPENT BY THE PROSPECTIVE PERSON AT HER PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT.  ONE BELIEVES THAT, EVEN AFTER 20 YEARS, THERE ARE STILL ONLY A FINITE NUMBER OF HOURS IN A DAY OR WEEK. NOT BEING A GREAT FAN OF THE MISCONCEPTION THAT QUALITY TIME CAN REPLACE REAL TIME, ONE MUST ASK WHERE, AFTER THE TIME ALLOTTED TO WORK BY THESE "SUPER WOMEN" (FULL TIME BEING 50 TO 60 HOURS PER WEEK IN MOST CASES) WOULD THERE BE TIME TO SHARE ONES WIT AND WISDOM, MUCH LESS THE PASTIMES WHICH MAKE A RELATIONSHIP WORTHWHILE WITH SOMEONE WHO CARES WHETHER YOU LIVE OR DIE.  GIVEN THE NECESSARY SURVIVAL REQUISITES OF EATING, SLEEPING AND PERSONAL HYGIENE (GOD HELP THOSE WHO MUST ALSO CARE FOR CHILDREN), WHAT IS LEFT?      

FOLLOWING THESE ENLIGHTENING THOUGHT PROCESSES, WHEN I AM FINISHED WATCHING MY BIG SCREEN TV, PERHAPS IT WOULD BE BETTER TO LEAVE MY WATERFRONT ABODE, CLIMB INTO MY NEW CAR, GO DOWN TO THE MARINA AND SAIL MY BOAT OFF INTO THE SUNSET, IN ORDER TO "CRUNCH" THE NUMBERS INDICATING THAT I AM NUMERICALLY UNQUALIFIED TO BE A HUMAN COMPANION TO ANY WOMAN WHO MIGHT BE INTERESTING TO ME.

ONE PROBABLY DOES NOT NEED TO SPEND THE REST OF ONES LIFE DISAPPOINTING THESE WONDERFUL CREATURES, WHO SEEM TO BE SO SELF SATISFIED AND FULFILLED IN THEIR LIVES, THAT ONE WONDERS WHY THEY COULD POSSIBLY WANT FOR MORE, MUCH LESS EXPECT TO FIND IT ON THE INTERNET.  THE TIME FOR “OUTSOURCING” PERSONAL NEEDS IS OBVIOUSLY AT HAND AND WILL BE ELUCIDATED IN A FUTURE “BLOG”.
  
ALTHOUGH THE PROCESS AND "PACKAGING" SEEMS TO HAVE CHANGED, THE DIFFICULTY STILL LIES IN FINDING THE PROVERBIAL "PONY" AMID THE SURROUNDING . . . . . NUMBERS.          

ENJOY. TOM